Konec // The End

In tako se je moja študijska izmenjava zaključila. Dva dni sem potrebovala za okrevanje od naporne avtobusne vožnje iz Rotterdama do Züricha in medtem ko sedaj že skoraj teden dni uživam v objemu Claudia ter pogledu na luzernsko jezero, mi misli ne dajo miru. Toliko spominov me veže na Nizozemsko, da me sprememba, ki prihaja, straši in vznemirja hkrati. Vprašanja kot so kako se bom spet navadila na ljubljanski vrvež in goriško kotlino, kako hitro bom pozabila na vsakdanjo angleščino in kaj mi bo prineslo naslednje leto, bom pustila za enkrat ob strani. Najprej se moram rehabilitirat, zaužit pravo poletje in se enostavno sprijaznit, da se vsaka stvar pač enkrat konča.

Težko dojamem, da sem se od Rotterdama in prijateljev poslovila. Čeprav sem bila na konec Erasmus izmenjave pripravljena, me je realnost vseeno vrgla na tla. Vem, da ne maram sloves, ampak tisti hipni trenutek, ko smo se poslavljali s solzami v očeh, ko je avtobus že vžgal motor in ko me je čas dejansko dohitel, me je zadelo. 10-mesečnem življenju v Rottredamu sem pomahala v slovo, brez obžalovanj in brez slabe vesti, le z grenkim priokusom minljivosti. Erasmus izmenjava me je naučila veliko in čeprav je za nekatere pametnjakoviče to le izrabljena fraza, so lastne izkušnje najboljši dokaz. S pokončno glavo lahko povem, da sem v zadnjem letu iz brezskrbne najstnice skrite v zavetju staršev in naše omejene Slovenije, odrasla v samostojno in samozavestno študentko, aktivno na internacionalnem nivoju. In ne samo to, počutim se boljše kot kadarkoli prej.

V živo se spominjam dne, ko sva s Katarino skoraj izsilili gospe delavke v mednarodni pisarni na domačem FDVju, da so nama zaupale rezultat prijave za Erasmus izmenjavo. Prav smešno je, da na videz tako nepomembna odločitev mednarodne pisarne vpliva na nadaljnje 10 mesečno življenje naključnega študenta - v tem primeru mene. Odobrili so mi mojo prvo željo in začela se je bitka s prijavnimi papirji, zbiranjem podpisov in psihičnim pripravljanjem na prvi odhod od doma. Moram reči, da so mi tako gospe delavke iz FDVja kot Emma Hamilton iz Rotterdama zelo olajšali celoten proces, saj so mi skrbno pomagali, da se ob prijavah nič ni zapletlo. Za mojo psihično pripravljenost pa so dobro poskrbeli družina in prijatelji, ki so me vedno spodbujali in s poslovilnimi zabavami vlili moč za odhod. Odhod v neznano, saj nikoli prej nisem obiskala Nizozemsko.

Nisem vedela, kaj naj pričakujem. Mline na veter, lesene cokle, tulipane, neskončno ravnino in vonj po sirih (ali marihuani) vse povsod? Oh ne, ko sem 19. avgusta končno prispela v Rotterdam, me je šokiralo. Rotterdam je vse prej kot upodobitev nizozemskih stereotipov. Zaradi ogromnega pristanišča, ki ga obdaja na zahodni strani, je pravo poslovno mesto, z najbolj arhitekturno nemogočimi zgradbami in mednarodnimi študenti iz Erasmus University. Takoj začutiš njegovo mestno dogajanje, vrvež in utrip. Glede na to, da sem komaj čakala na življenje v internacionalni metropoli, nisem rabila dolgo, da sem se v Rotterdam zaljubila.

Po prvih "introduction days" se je moja pot skozi nova poznanstva, zabave, potovanja, akademsko in zunajšolsko učenje končno začela. Kot posledica pa so ena za drugo nastajale tudi nove objave na blogu in vsaka je zgodba zase. Tako sem ponosna na vsako, ko s kančkom nostalgije brskam po arhivu in z nasmeškom na obrazu listam po fotografijah. Blog je ustvaril vez med domačimi in vsemi poznanimi doma v Sloveniji, saj ste enostavno lahko spremljali moje dogajanje. Ampak blog mi ni služil le kot orodje komuniciranja, bil je moje zatočišče, kjer sem izpovedala misli in občutke, večinoma srečne in pozitivne, včasih pa zaskrbljene in domotožne. Bil je moje veselje.

Blog pa ne bi obstajal, če na Erasmus izmenjavi ne bi spoznala prijatelje, s katerimi smo doživeli te nepozabne dogodke, odkljukali potovanja in se mučili v šolskih klopeh. Ne bom vas naštevala poimensko, saj veste kdo ste :) Prevozili smo se od Maastrichta na jugu do Grooningena na severu Nizozemske, pa Antwerpna in Bruslja v Belgiji, nemškega Berlina in romantičnega Pariza, Maroka in Švice. Da ne bo napačnega vtisa, kaj sem delala v Rotterdamu, pa sem dokazala tudi, da se študijska izmenjava z razlogom imenuje "študijska". Obvezna prisotnost na predavanjih in močna interaktivnost med študenti in profesorji nam ni pustila spanja med predavanji. Pozitivno sem bila presenečena nad številčno majhnimi skupinami na seminarjih (25 študentov) in velikim trudom mladih in zagnanih profesorjev. Na kratko, Erasmus University Rotterdam mi je vsekakor dokazala njen ugled.

Študijska izmenjava pa mi je vlila višje cilje. Želela sem izkušnje na delovnem področju in zadela v nulo. Pridružila sem se Marketing Association, kjer sem bila zadolžena za pisanje člankov za marketinško revijo MarkEUR. Pisanje v angleščini, organizacija in izvajanje intervjujev je bil velik izziv, ampak nikoli ne bom pozabila, da sva z Wesleyjem uspela dobiti intervju s samim direktorjem marketinga in prodaje pri Microsoftu v Amsterdamu. Uspehi pa so se vrstili tudi pri moji drugi zunajšolski zaposlitvi - Housing Anywhere. Ne samo, da sem platformo prodala Univerzi v Ljubljani in da se (zahvala dobremu marketingu) že polni z oglasi sob, zadnjo se zanimajo tudi drugi šolski centri v Sloveniji, poleg tega pa sem bila iz "Sales Agent" povišana na plačano pozicijo "Head of Sales for East coast of US"! Čeprav je delo z Američani kar zahtevno, sem ustvarila ekipo in kontaktirala najbolj prestižne univerze kot so Harvard, Yale, Brown, Princeton, Columbia itd. Pridobila sem veliko znanja na področju prodaje, vodstva in organizacije, ter spoznala, da sem sposobna delati v internacionalnem okolju. Znam zaupati vase.

Poleg vsega skupaj, pa me je izmenjava naučila živeti in preživeti. Vsakdanje obveznosti, na katere prej ne bi pomislila, so polnile moj urnik. Od kuhanja in pospravljanja, nakupovanja, prevažanja z metrojem, tramom ali kolesom, registracije v mesto hišo, seljenja, opremljanja sobe ... Seveda so bili tudi naporni dnevi. Takšni, ki bi jih najraje prespala in pozabila. Bili so deževni dnevi, vetrovni, snežni in temni. Ampak v takšnih trenutkih sem vedno znova spregledala, da sem tista srečnica, ki ima zaupanja vredne prijatelje, podporo družine in ljubezen življenjskega sopotnika. Imam več kot bi si lahko želela. Zato hvala vsem, ki ste mi stali ob strani, vsem, ki ste mi pomagali in uživali z mano, vsem, ki ste me spremljali na 10 mesečni dogodivščini in vsem, ki me imate radi, takšno kot sem. Erasmus izmenjava je vsekakor prispevala delček ustvarjanja moje osebnosti, moje podobe, mojega Jaza in ne morem mimo tega - hvala Erasmus študijski izmenjavi, nikoli te ne bom pozabila. Tvoj konec pa pomeni moj nov začetek. Začetek v širni svet! :)

//

And that’s how my exchange has come to the end. After exhausting bus ride from Rotterdam to Zürich, I’ve spent 2 days for rehab and although it’s been almost a week already since I’m cuddling with my Schnuggi and enjoying the view over Lake Luzern, I can’t shut down my thoughts. There are so many memories bounding me to the Netherlands and the change which is coming up scares and excites me at the same time. But for now, I rather don’t bother with questions like how am I going to get used to the hustle and bustle of Ljubljana, to my hometown valley, am I going to forget daily English language and what is the next year going to bring me. Firstly, I have to rehabilitate myself, enjoy the real summer breeze and simply accept the fact that at some point everything comes to an end.

I hardly believe that I said goodbye to Rotterdam and all my friends there. Although I was preparing for it, the reality still surprised me. I know I don’t like goodbyes but that moment when the bus was already running, the tears filled my eyes and when time actually caught me up, it hit me again. Without regrets and guilty conscience, only with a bitter taste of transience, I was waving goodbye to the town where I have spent the last 10 months. Erasmus exchange thought me a lot and although it may sound like an over used phrase, my own experiences are true evidence. Proudly I can say the transformation I went through in the last year is enormous – I have grown up from a careless teenager hidden in a parent’s shelter and narrow minded Slovenia to independent and self-confident student active on the international level. And besides that, I feel better than ever before.

I remember the day when Katarina and I almost forced an employee at international office to reveal us the result of our exchange application. It’s funny how a seemingly unimportant decision made by international office affects on 10 months life of a random student – in this case me. Fortunately, they approved my first choice and the battle with applications papers and mental preparation for the first living abroad had started. I have to say that employees from international office as well as Emma Hamilton from Rotterdam had relieved the whole application process and were taking care that nothing went wrong. On the other hand, my friends and family took care of my mental preparation since they were throwing goodbye parties, encouraging me and instilling me courage for departure. Departure into the unknown, since I had never visited the Netherlands before.

Therefore, I didn’t know what to expect. Windmills, wooden clogs, tulips and the smell of cheese (or marijuana) everywhere? Not at all, Rotterdam is a lot more then Dutch stereotypes. I was quite shocked when I arrived on August 19. Due to the port, Rotterdam is a business city with modern architecture and international students from Erasmus University. You can’t avoid its bustle, its soul. And since I couldn’t wait to live in an international metropolis, it didn’t take me long to fall in love with Rotterdam.

After introduction days, the path through new friendships, parties, travels, academic and extracurricular learning had started. As the consequence, my blog has grown bigger and bigger. Every post was a story for itself and while I nostalgically browse the archives and with a smile on my face leaf through the photos, I am proud of all of them. Blog was a link between me and everybody back in Slovenia (maybe that was the reason why I insisted to write it in Slovenian :)). However, blog was not only the communication tool but also my shelter where I confessed my thoughts and feelings, mostly happy and positive, sometimes anxious and homesick. Blog was my joy.

However, my blog and all those unforgettable moments wouldn’t exist without people I have met during my exchange. I would need another post to list all of you. But the ones I mean know it. We have travelled around the Netherlands all between Maastricht on the south and Groningen on the north and across borders to Berlin, Paris, Brussels, Switzerland and down to Morocco. However, we couldn’t follow Singaporeans, champions in traveling, since they were away every weekend because for Asians “Europe is so small”. Besides traveling, I have also showed that study exchange is called “study” with a reason. Compulsory attendance and strong interaction between students and professors didn’t allow us to fall asleep during lectures, for sure. However, I was positively surprised by small seminar groups (25 students) and great effort of young and motivated professors. In short, Erasmus University Rotterdam proved me its high reputation.

During exchange I set myself higher goals than only collecting credits for university. I wanted to get experiences in working area and I couldn’t score better. I joined the committee of Marketing Association (MAEUR) where I was responsible for writing articles for its marketing magazine called MarkEUR. Writing in English, organization and interviewing were a challenge for me but I will never forget how Wesley and I got the chance to interview a director of Marketing and Sales at Microsoft in Amsterdam. More success has followed in another activity that I was participating at – Housing Anywhere. Not only that I have sold the platform to University of Ljubljana and that it is already filling up with rooms, but suddenly other school centers are also interested in joining. After few months of being a Sales Agent, I was promoted to the Head of Sales for East Coast of US! Although working with Americans was not really easy, I still established a team and contact the most prestigious universities like Harvard, Yale, Brown, Princeton, Columbia, etc. I gained lots of knowledge in sales, organization and leadership, and I realized that I am capable of working in an international environment. I learnt how to believe in myself.

After all, exchange thought me how to live and survive in general. Daily obligations about which I normally wouldn’t even think of were filling my schedule. From cooking and cleaning, to shopping, public transport, city hall registrations, moving and decorating my room … Of course, there were also tough days. Such days that I would rather sleep through and forget. There were rainy, windy, snowy and dark days. But in those times, I had always realized how lucky I am to have trustful friends, support of my family and love from my life partner. I have more than I could wish for. Therefore, thanks to those who were standing by my side, to those who were helping me and enjoying with me, to those who were accompanying me at this incredible 10 months journey and thanks to those who love me just the way I am. Exchange has most definitely contributed to create a part of my personality, my image, my self and I can’t skip this – thank you Erasmus study exchange, I will never forget you. However, your end means a new beginning for me. A beginning to the wide world! :)